Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
