its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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