no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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