I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
