Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
