u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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