Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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