Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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