Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
