went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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