Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
