i just wanna soil my oats bro
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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