your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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