My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
