was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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