wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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