If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
