So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
