She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
