Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
