I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
