i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
