1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
