He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
