I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
