looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
