One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
