I got chris browned last night
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
