I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i think my mom watched the whole time
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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