I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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