8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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