the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
