HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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