My room smells like vodka and shame
he thought i was a dude.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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