the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
