How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's blow job season.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
