entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
