I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
