a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
