I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
so much tequila, so little girl.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
