She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
