I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
