Don't you send me to vm
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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