Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
