The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
