brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
