i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Still dying that you shit outside
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
