Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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