i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
