...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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