Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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